Step 2

Yesterday was pretty amazing. I was and am so honored to be my nephew's Godmother. I mentioned that this week I am really trying to open my heart to Step 2. 

Step 2 is all about faith. I prayed that God would speak to me somehow through the mass. Help my heart to soften a little. I feel like I have a pretty big wall built up between God and I. My dad is a Deacon (I told you it's a complicated relationship I have with God). So, being a Deacon, my Dad presided over the Mass yesterday, said the homily and Baptized my nephew.

The homily was all about Faith. Literally all about having to have faith. Do what is difficult even when its challenging and always having Faith that God will see you through it. 

Whoa.

I felt at peace throughout the mass. Not angry, not resentful, like I have come to feel many times in Mass. Just peaceful. 

I did struggle with some issues surrounding family. I struggled a little at the reception afterwards since it was my first social function, involving alcohol, since I decided to get sober just over a week ago. And no one that was there other than my husband, knows I have made this choice. I got through it though and felt stronger for it. I am learning it really is true the "Strength comes from moments of Weakness". 

I will continue to work on Step 2 this week. I can see that God is trying to show me his presence in my life. I will try to soften my heart and I pray that he helps me to soften as well. 

If nothing else I can say I have a much greater sense of peace already this week. A lot of my anxiety has lifted and for that I am grateful.

-xoxo-